This whole year has been about challenging myself to be better, striving to get more out of life and pushing myself out of my comfort zone. Whether it’s been challenging myself to be a better cook or attempting to be more mindful and more productive I’ve tried to focus my challenges on areas I knew I had personal deficiencies with in an to attempt to slowly improve my life. This months swim challenge is in some ways very different though…This is the first time I will be tackling something that is both extremely physically demanding while also forcing me to overcome a personal fear. Unlike my other challenges where my main goal has been to learn, explore and grow, this will add the additional obstacle of trying to battle my physical limitations and my fear of open water swimming. For the first time I am feeling truly concerned that I my not be able to achieve my lofty goal.

Fighting With Fear

Let me just begin by admitting how absolutely bad at swimming I am. It’s something I’ve struggled with for years. When I was younger my mom enrolled my brother and I in swimming lessons but I’m fairly certain I spent most of the time in the hot tub rather than in the actual pool. As I grew up I found I was never really comfortable in the water. Friends of mine could tread water comfortably for long periods or swim great distances where as I always made sure I either had a life jacket or was never more then a few feet from the dock or shore. Deep waters specifically have always scared me; not knowing what was out there, hearing horror stories of kids getting there legs tangled in lake weed and getting trapped beneath the water always gave me nightmares. To make matters worse I grew up in a time where Hollywood was hell bent on terrifying everyone out of the water with movies like Jaws, Deep Blue Sea and White Squall (if you haven’t seen White Squall it’s excellent). I’ve lived most of my adult life fearing or feeling uncomfortable in the water.

Living with fear is a very debilitating and frustrating existence. It not only holds you back from your goals but it demoralizes you into thinking you’re not good enough to tackle them. Fear combines the power of the unknown with the guilt of your past failures and becomes a constant weight and stress you carry throughout your life.

My inability to swim and fear of deep water has caused me anxiety, made me feel inadequate and limited me from my goals of  competing in a Triathlon. This is why I’ve set out to concur my fears and force myself to do the very thing that every ounce of me says is dangerous, scary and wrong. By attempting the 2000m swim across lake Okanagan I know I can beat back my feats and I’ll finally be able to find peace and enjoyment with this problem.

A Physical And Mental Challenge

It’s been a dream of mine for many years to accomplish a major Triathlon. I have been a athletic person for most of my youth, having grown up playing every sport I could (or that we could afford). I loved the knowing that if I pushed myself physically, honed my skills and played as a team that it would result in winning results. As I’ve grown up I have struggled to recapture this positive feeling in my life. Working from 9am-5pm and dealing with increased responsibilities and a more active social life has caused me to put my athletic goals on the back burner. A few years ago I had noticed a hard truth, I had become soft, slow and more out of shape than ever before. I had developed the classic late 20’s, early 30’s beer gut and when forced to do physical activity I noticed I was becoming winded far faster than ever before. I was becoming an old man at a very early age…

I knew that something had to change but I still wasn’t prepared to cut back the social and enjoyable lifestyle I had created. As a small attempt to be more healthy I decided to start running a few days a week. Within weeks this quickly transformed from a hobby to a passion as I once again starting to feel the same sense of accomplishment I had once felt playing sports as a kid. As I trained I began to push myself further and further and it wasn’t long until my aspirations began to take to more than just casually running. I wanted to do Triathlon! I foresaw the Triathlon as the pinnacle of personal sporting accomplishment. It was grueling, exhausting, extremely challenging and incredibly awesome. The individuals that competed were strong committed people, both male and female and of all different ages. They all represented an ideal which I aspired to; to be someone who was willing to commit themselves whole hardily to a challenge and someone who through great personal struggle and sacrifice had attempted to achieve greatness. I knew this was what I needed to strive towards.

Distractions and Excuses

Although this dream was something I had yearned to accomplish, life it seemed had different plans for me. Not long after accomplishing my first long distance runs I found myself with the opportunity to move cities for a new job. Once there it was just a matter of time until I was investing myself into making new friends and exploring my new surroundings rather than staying committed to my dreams, and to my regret it wasn’t long until running and Triathlons were no longer even a major priority in my life.

Getting back to this goal for me represents so much more than just a physical challenge for myself. By committing to swimming the 2000m distance across the Okanagan lake I am taking the first step back towards the aspiration for greatness I had left so casually by the wayside some years ago.

The Ripple Effect of Swimming

Almost anyone can swim if they need to. Whether you’re a breast stroker, freestyler or dog paddler, if you need to keep yourself afloat in the pool or lake you’ll find a way. But learning how to swim ‘well’ is a whole different ball game. The learning process is both humbling and eye opening and it’s one of few sports that has very little to do with how strong and athletic you are (in fact having huge muscles may actually hinder rather than help you). It’s one of the few sports that the young and old can compete at together on somewhat of an even playing field and it’s one of the few sports that works out you’re entire body. In taking on this challenge I am hoping to not only learn how to become a great swimmer but to also learn what it is about swimming that draws in so many people both young and old and what the benefits are both physically and emotionally.

Wish me luck as I take on this large, scary and ambitious goal and I hope that through my attempt you will be inspired to find the thing inside of you that scary or has been left to fall by the wayside. Maybe it’s swimming, maybe it’s public speaking or maybe it’s just getting back in shape. As always please reach out and share and hopefully together we can push ourselves to concur our past and take control of our futures.