A Reflective Run Through Toronto

So there I was in Toronto Ontario; centre of the universe, home of Stanley Cup victories long passed and dreams (delusions) of new ones still fresh in people’s minds. I ventured out for a jog to clear my head after a long day at the conference I was attending. My headphones in, a smile on my face, my mind was completely engrossed in the incredible scenery around me. The buildings all had this eerie history to them that made you feel like you could turn a corner and be back in old Canada.

As I ran I began to really ponder this ‘mindfulness challenge’ I had signed up for. After ranting to Ryan about the merits and values of building capacity before taking on more challenges I thought it would only make sense for me to at least take a taste of my own medicine.

It has been a crazy last few months, years, decades. I think I just always expected it to get easier. I remember getting out of High-School and thinking “PHEW! I made it; that was a pain in the ass, now it’s time to hurry up and live life.” Then of course I found myself enrolled in more schooling but I knew at the end of that I would at least be able to relax. Then I got into a new career, and then more schooling, and then a new job and house; all the while I’ve always kept this thought in my head: “Once I finish then life will get simpler/better and I can finally relax.” The funny thing is though at 30 years old I’ve never really found that simpler/better place. Life it seems doesn’t stop and slowdown; its roller-coaster ride and you’re on for the long haul. So how then do you get to relax and enjoy the ride?

I had an incredible mentor when I first moved to Penticton years ago. He saw me working my ass off (yeah someone actually saw that happen once) and obviously decided I could using some guidance along my journey. I remember him telling me to celebrate the small successes along the way. At the time I was often upset and frustrated because I hadn’t achieved my goal yet. Why weren’t the food cost down to where we wanted them, why were labour cost so high, why were my skills not where I needed them to be? I spent more time frustrated and focusing on what I was struggling with that I never stopped to enjoy my wins. That simple message to ‘enjoy the journey’ has always stuck with me but for some reason I still find myself struggling to put it into practice.

As I mentioned previously I do have passions in my life that allow me some escape from the internal chaos of my day to day but often they are also corrupted by the stress and distractions of my emotions. For instance, I consider my Family to be #1 in my life, but often I get busy, distracted or stressed, and the people I love the most end up being ignored or even receiving the brunt of my bitching. It’s so hard to keep those emotions separate, but I know I need to learn, I need to improve me.

Certain activities though I am able to be fully in the moment with. Biking for example can be so focused and intense that everything else just falls away. That moment when my wheels start spinning faster than my pedals as I descend a mountaintop; adrenaline coursing through my veins, my speedometer reading 60km, 70km, 80km, 90km…. The pure thrill and focus on the white line ahead of me, eyes scanning up and down the road avoiding any rocks, sticks, ruts and cracks. My legs feeling the joy of a momentary break from the gut wrenching climb I had just endured. This is my moment, the moment where I am actually 100% within the day. But this isn’t my daily thought process, this is the anomaly; this is why I’ve dedicated myself to become more mindful.

Still keeping a good pace to my run I passed by a park and thought about my puppy; I bought her with very specific goals in mind. I wanted to be less selfish, I wanted to have someone that I would have to give things up for and I wanted to find a better grounding and purpose in my life. I would watch her as she learned new tricks and couldn’t believe that I had taught them to her. I loved that no matter how my day had gone when I got home she just couldn’t wait to see me. Sometimes it was frustrating though when I had to watch her chew my brand new sunglasses to a million pieces and there are those difficult days where I am so busy beyond belief. When I’m stretched to get my training in or projects done and I still have to make time to take her for a walk she becomes a big inconvenience and I find myself resenting her for distracting me, but this is what I understand mindfulness to be. I can’t change the environment as much as I can change my attitude, when I am with her I shouldn’t be thinking of laundry, emails or my training, that won’t help her, me or those tasks.

As I headed back from my run, I started watching the people on the street (hopefully a byproduct of all of this meditation I had been doing). I saw their faces, some on their phone, furiously texting, emailing, Tindering….. Some people were speed walking hastily by me, apparently late for their next appointment or rushing to their next meeting. Then the cars… swerving, honking…. It was around lunch time and I noticed a seriously large amount of people eating in their cars. I guess lunch breaks have become a thing of the past.

I returned back to my hotel but couldn’t get the last 10 minutes out of my head. Everyone I saw was rushing, everyone I saw looked stressed, everyone I saw looked like I felt most of the time. What was wrong with all of us? Why were our lives so over-complicated and under enjoyed. This thought sat with me the remainder of the night.

Mindfulness and Rediscovering Why I Love Ethiopia

The next day I went for Ethiopian food; it’s a food that I fell in love with while I was traveling Ethiopia back in 2012 and I always try to make a point to seek it out whenever I am in major cities. I looked on Yelp and found a place not too far away, I hopped in a cab and made my way over. I walked in and met this vibrant lady who owned the restaurant named Elzibett. We started talking, sharing stories, and connecting over food, culture and passions.

I am often filled with joy when people ask me about Ethiopia, I tell them all these amazing stories of the places and people. I always say that they are ‘cash poor but life rich.’ I look at mindfulness and this challenge I am on, my travels during it, the people I have met and how quickly this daily focus is changing me. I thought about how Ethiopia is such a mindful place, and looking back at it, I think that’s what attracted me to it. The people slowdown and see each other, really see each other! They aren’t texting and they don’t even have ‘to go’ cups for coffee. They do have coffee shops, but they drink them the best way you could possibly experience coffee as a traditional coffee ceremony. Every day we were there we were fortunate experience this style of coffee and let me tell you nothing over here compares.

The Ethiopian people are the most beautiful people I have ever met in my life and I don’t just mean aesthetically (although somehow I think they my have been born from the fountain of youth), I mean their world and their outlook is beautiful. They engage in these vibrant, and welcoming discussions and you can just see them look at you as they spend the time getting to know you. They listen and best of all, they tell stories. So much about Ethiopian culture is hearing and telling stories. Their world history and life experiences were all told with beautiful stories. When I would ask someone what they did, the answer was never ‘a construction worker, a farmer, etc,’ the answer was about them, their family, their history, their parents, their passions. They would talk about their village/city/country with their people and culture within it.

The thing that I really noticed about Ethiopian people was that they would really look, really see, and really experience everything. I think we often get caught up in our over rushed day to day, running around to meetings or appointments, always running to somewhere. Slowing things down has been my focus this month, trying to be in the moment, this is what I am coming to know about mindfulness. Taking a lesson from my friends in Ethiopia I’m realizing life is about finding harmony in chaos, joy in turmoil and peace in life. I am not living a life of focus right now, but I am finding that when I am stressed/overwhelmed that I am able to at least attempt to remind myself that I am in control of my emotions, fears, stresses, desires and wants.

This week hasn’t been simple or easy, but I have been happy… really really happy, not all the time, but just feeling more open to what may come.

Thanks Ryan for inspiring me to take on the challenge.